When hugging a hardship, do you want to tell people?

 

I am convinced that each of us will have personal answer. Some people would like to tell you, because they want to be understood, to be recognized. But will also have some people believe that it is not necessary, so the answer would be no.

Also because of those different thoughts, so all around us, there will always be those colleagues: One does everything quietly, hide away their own struggles. Two always mentions all. Sometimes they lament so much, accidentally turned into "lament sales agents" in front of everyone.

And between those two colleagues, if selected to work, we will often choose less words one. Cause I was also like that, had ever thought I wanted to live in a less lamenting collective.

However, things are not exactly like that...

Once, a colleague in the company was sick. Quite bad. But no one knew about it. On his first day off, he said he was busy with housework. Day 2, day 3, he answered the Message not frequently. And the following day, he was the same. People who were observant perceived that he was hiding something. And people were not observant, they thought he were busy indeed.

Until the day he came to work, he confessed. 7 days off were 7 days he was hospitalized. When he was strong a bit, he held the phone to answer, for about 10 or 15 minutes, and then put it down again, because he had no power.

Do you know my feeling at that time? I was extremely angry. Being anger, being worry, and just feel helpless.

He did not want the team to worry. But when we know it, we had to deal with guilty feeling.

He did not want the team to be insecure. Then, when everything was done, it was time we realized we were not the person he believed.

Maybe he had his own reasons. But for me, until now, I do not support that way of thinking.

Has called teammates, we have to understand. Speaking up difficulty, it no longer is the lamentation, it is also a way for us to better understand each other's situation.

Has called allies, we must listen actively. Maybe these stories are long, with no seamless emotions. But listening makes us more understand each other's feelings.

The silence, might be the way for people to feel better, or it might be the way we love. But it will be difficult and long for others to understand.

But in a collective, understanding the difficulties, the knots is the necessary, very necessary.

So, for me, if we are teammate, then just tell, just say. And if you are a teammate, then just listen. Frankly comments if it is redundant words, and carefully collected if that is the key to better comprehend each other.