When will the life be beautiful?

 

"To be honest, this is the first time for twenty years of life I dare to tell the truth about the demon inside of me .

...

Last year, there were time I was pulled out and questioned by dad: "Where are you working now? Why do I see you change your workplace time over time? When will you want to be stable? "

I vaguely answered: "I felt not accordant then I change, dad."

Well, at that time, I had many reasons for the job transfer for real. At workplace that had high salaries, I had to work hard as buffalo but the workplace that I like, it had low salary. Some places, people were too jealous, some places, they were too sycophantic... In general, I thought, because people were not good, not me.

Until the 8th Tet holiday, the day that people began to work again, a brother in the company held a stack of lucky red envelopes for everyone. I was so happy, and thank him profusely. But somewhere, there were some old memories in the past came back to me.

I also received lucky money onTet in my place, didn't I? But why was it not the same feeling then? I received then hastily opened. Ten thousand, twenty thousand dong. I tittered and thought "Don't give lucky money if you are too skimpy!"

Why were with the same envelopes, I had two thoughts so: one is happiness; one is scrutiny, criticism? Was that really because people were not really good? Or it was me who hadn't been nice yet?

Think about it, my inner feeling was too ugly. What a shame!

In a collection, I used to think others were not good and very frustrated to have to follow them. But if I was good enough and more brave, why didn't I persuade them?

In the conversation, I also had hated having to listen to others suggestions. But if I wanted to be progressive so why did I upset?

As well as the lucky money, I told he was skimpy, but could I do as him? Not mention to the money, even opening mind to have a more optimistic thinking, I still couldn’t do.

Was it the demon inside me was too abuse? The days they are not pacified are the days that I cannot expect that life will pretty to me.

...

P/s: Today I tend to pick up “How to Win Friends and Influence People” to read, but thinking back and forth, there are nothing has to influence people. Well, let close the book then go coffee with this friends :)

Bella – Team Creative of Saxa”

From Growing Handbook – 25.02.16